Housecleaning Mindset Hack for the Notorious Procrastinator

Hi friends! I’m back, finally. 

I’ve been struggling to find the motivation to write lately, but thanks to an uplifting podcast and a freshly cleaned home I suddenly got struck with a wave of creativity. As most people who have artistic tendencies know, creativity comes in waves or seasons. You’re either consumed by it or completely unmotivated. I’m still working on finding a steady, consistent, happy medium.  

Now that I’m back at it, I want to share a mindset shift that has increased my productivity and lessened my anxiety/depression.

I am a natural born procrastinator. The more necessary and important something is, the more I avoid it at all costs. Type A people: I am your worst nightmare. Just the thought of a task that either stresses me out or that I just plain don’t want to do literally sends me into a numb, shut down state that makes me want to run in the other direction. 

Out of necessity, as I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten better at forcing myself to do the thing (whatever that thing may be) that I don’t want to do. It hasn’t been easy and I’m still working hard at strengthening my self discipline in several areas, but I can feel the hard work paying off. 

I fiercely believe that having honest conversations with ourselves about our weaknesses brings out humility and strength. Only when I stopped replying with “I know” to every piece of advice that was given to me did the true self improvement begin. 

Mamas, I know you can relate to me when I say that being quarantined for months has showed me that being at work all day prevents messes. Being home 24/7 means endless dishes, laundry, and clutter. The more time spent at home the more we have to clean. I don’t know about you guys, but when the house is a mess it makes me depressed, and I don’t have the luxury of succumbing to my depression these days. I have a little boy that needs a happy mama and an organized, clean environment to grow up in. 

I’m proud to say that, for the most part, my house has stayed clean. How, you ask? Simple:

+ The thought of how good it feels to have a clean house outweighs the thought of how bad it feels to look around and see a mess.

Simple, I know. But really think about it: how do you feel when you wake up, go into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee and see a mess? Dishes are in the sink, crumbs are on the counter, and the Keurig is a mess. It sets the tone for a terrible day. 

Now, close your eyes and imagine the feeling you get when you wake up, walk into the kitchen and everything is sparkling clean. You have the Keurig loaded and ready to go. That is what I want to wake up to. That type of thought instantly gets me moving.

For those of you who are incredibly disciplined and mentally stable, you’re probably thinking “Isn’t that obvious?”

Yes. 

But for those of us who are anxious, kinda lazy, or just have a tendency to procrastinate, this mindset shift is everything. Now, every single time I need to vacuum, clean the kitchen, fold the laundry, or make the bed in the morning, I do it. Not because I know I should or because I hate the mess but because I take a second to actually close my eyes and envision how it will feel to have a clean home. There is so much power in focusing on the positive in a literal sense rather than the negative.

If we take this logic and apply it to everything in life, it will eliminate almost all of our problems. We are our own worst enemy and we owe it to ourselves to fight our toxic habits and create new ones. We owe it to ourselves to reach our potential. 

If this helps even one of you it will make me so happy.

And if you think from this post I’m insinuating that I have it all together, don’t worry. I’m still a shitshow. 

Remember, we’re all mad here. 

Xx

Tanner

Guilt by Glorification

If comparison is the thief of joy, then glorification is its greedy accomplice.

Join me in some quarantine- fueled musings, will you?

I, like almost everyone else on the planet right now, find myself with more free time than I've had since adolescence. However, when I used to say "I just need to sleep for, like, three weeks" this is not what I had in mind. Instead, my time off has been sabotaged by a subtle yet unyielding sense of anxiety that demands a piece of any potential relaxation. As I rack my brain trying to find the source of said anxiety, I keep coming back to the fact that I have a tendency to glorify the past.

I keep wondering, am I the only one with this tendency? No matter what my present situation may be, I always find a way to dilute its potential joy by remembering a time in my life that I deem as more pleasant. Examples:
 "My body was so much better in high school."
"I had so much more free time before I chose to have kids."

Not so long ago I broke down in tears telling my husband and God, "I just need a break."
If my request and prayer has been answered, then why do I feel compelled to reminisce on times when my schedule was packed with work and weekend plans? At first glance when I look back at the time before quarantine I remember routine, financial stability, socialization, physical fitness and presentation, and general happiness.

What I have come to realize is that isolation, financial uncertainty, and lack of necessary routine will make a busy lifestyle seem so much more appealing- even if at the time I felt almost painfully overwhelmed and exhausted.

Not only do I find myself craving the hustle and bustle of my not-so- distant past, but when I was living in the (aforementioned) past I found myself wishing I could return to the year before, when I was on maternity leave. I remember last month when I was working for the 6th day in a row at the salon, not being able to put my son to bed for the 6th night in a row and thinking "Why was I so miserable when I was a stay at home mom those first couple of months? I had it made. I took it for granted."

Flash forward to this month: chronic dissatisfaction as a result of glorifying my past.

The more I dissect this nasty habit and the role it's played in my life the more I recognize it as a familiar friend, a wolf in sheep's clothing. It's a voice that has the power to make me feel the need to change the present to the past, creating an unusual type of nostalgia for a version of myself that I worked very hard to change. Why do I continue to feed into this bullshit notion that I was happier before? Why don't I work harder to be joyful in the present moment instead?

This doesn't mean that I can magically forget the current worries and stressors that I'm facing and only feel joy. What I'm learning in this season is that every seemingly pleasant chapter of life that I've been through has the opposite of a silver lining- a dull lining, if you will.
My body may have been "better" in high school, but I was a young and insecure girl who ran 8 miles a day and had never created another human being.
I might have had more free time before having Dean, but I felt empty and constantly envied the mothers that I was around. I felt derived of my purpose. I spent my free time partying and working to fill that void.

There is always bad in the good, and there is always good in the bad. Realizing my tendency to feed the glorification monster has been like hitting myself across the face with a text book that says "WAKE THE F*** UP AND ENJOY THE MOMENT BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO GLORIFY IT ONE DAY ANYWAY."

Someday, life will go back to normal. Someday, I'm going to look back at this time and think "Why was so depressed and anxious? Why didn't I enjoy it?" I'll be damned if I think those thoughts and my answer is "Because I wished I was working and socializing instead of relaxing and soaking up every precious second with my 18 month old that most people would kill to have to opportunity to go back and do with their child."

My prayer is that when I look back at the quarantine I think this:
"I was worried, anxious, and depressed at first because I was focusing on how everything was going to work out globally and financially. Thank God I realized my tendency to glorify my past, because it taught me how to be present. Yes, I was stressed, but I acknowledged that everything would be okay. We recovered. I was given time to refresh, slow down, organize, create, and spend time with my son that I NEVER would have had otherwise. That time to myself was a gift from God."

Thoughts?

xx
Tanner

Welcome to Madhouse Society

In the words of my soul sister/muse/forever inspiration, Carrie Bradshaw,

"I'm a writer."

I seem to have lost sight of that fact in the year that this blog was created. With print journalism dead and the blog scene going up in flames right behind it, I spent a lot of time scrambling and trying to keep up with the bloggers and influencers (ew I hate that word) that I wanted to emulate. What I've come to realize is this:
I don't want to have a blog where I show how perfect my life is and only talk about superficial things. I want to speak my mind, share my struggles, and offer some helpful life + beauty tips along the way.
If that makes this blog less appealing to the masses, so be it.
Rather than only doing super curated blog posts offering my knowledge on specific subjects, think of this as more of a column in a paper. My paper.
Yes, there will still be {elaborate} skincare routines and botox Q&A, but there will also be essays on my current thoughts and letters to my son.

I started off calling this blog "Becoming Tanner," and I am still so proud of what that means. I am always striving to become the best version of myself. I am always growing, learning, changing.

With that being said, I have decided to pivot and rebrand this bitch. I don't want this space to be about me. This space needs to be where likeminded people can come to feel beautiful and understood.

Welcome to Madhouse Society.
We're all mad here.

xx Tanner

Slouchy Denim: 4 Styling Tips

All of my fashion lovers, this one is for you.

I have been hesitant to do a post about styling despite it being something that I'm obsessed with, because I feel like personal style is just that: personal. I hate to say "this is right, and this is wrong" when there really is no definite "right" and "wrong" when it comes to style. It's just an opinion.

I decided that I'm just going to give you guys details about what I LOVE and how I figure out what I love. I love pairing certain fabrics with others, playing with which combinations are the most flattering for my body type, and just experimenting with what items I feel like express my personality.

Today's trend:
Baggy, slouchy denim.

I feel pretty strongly about what is best paired with baggy denim, so here are my tips!

Tip #1:

Always wear some type of heel.

When I say heel, I don't mean a straight up stiletto, although if it fits the occasion it would look SO good. It could be a heeled bootie, a low- heeled sandal, or even a platform Doc Marten. The important part is that we elongate the legs so that they don't get swallowed by the slouchiness of the jean. We want long and lean, not stubby. 

Tip #2

Tuck it in or tie a knot.

If you want to create a look that is more put together and still shows off your shape despite the loose bottoms, tuck your top in or tie it in a knot. The idea is to accentuate the waist and keep you from looking like a sack of potatoes. I, personally, prefer to wear a baggy pant that hits around my belly button because it's the most flattering (think hourglass.)  Or, your body type could benefit from something that hits at the hip bone or ribs, we are all different. 

Tip #3:

If you are going to go full baggy, make everything else chic.

Some days, the bloat is real. For the days I'm feeling kind of "bleh" but don't want to sacrifice being trendy, I'll do the double slouch. Sometimes, if I need a spray tan, I'll even throw a soft cardigan over my baggy shirt. If this is the look I'm rolling with, my RULE is that my hair has to be sleek, makeup clean, and shoes are chic. If I were to walk out of the house with my super relaxed clothes, a sneaker, and a messy bun I would look homeless- not stylish. I know that sounds harsh but I am hell bent on wearing something flattering. Whether it's down and straight, in a sleek low bun, down and curled, or in a sleek top knot, your hair will make this look. Adding some statement jewelry won't hurt, either! BOOM. You just went from bloated and homeless to street style chic. 

Tip #4:

When in doubt, Pinterest it out.

There are days when nothing seems to pair well, and I just can't seem to find my vibe. Enter, Pinterest. One quick search of the key words describing the clothing item that I want to incorporate (i.e. baggy denim) and I have instant inspiration. Street style is one of my absolute favorite style references. Model off duty is so effortless and is often an awesome example for how to pair certain pieces. Look up street style next time you're on Pinterest- you won't be disappointed. Sometimes my "rules" are broken and I freakin love it. Seeing others do it gives me the courage to try it myself. 

I hope you guys enjoyed this! If you'd like to see more styling posts in the future please let me know, this was SO satisfying and fun.

lovelovelove,

Tanner

Q & A With @makeupbyforeverliz

Well, hello stranger.

I have been MIA lately for a lot of reasons but I'm back, bitches!
You're going to love this one.

I have had the pleasure of working with Liz Leon, AKA @makeupbyforeverliz on Instagram, on several weddings and photoshoots! She is insanely talented, sweet, funny, and a kick ass business woman. I had the privilege of getting my makeup done by her about a month ago, and let me tell you- she did NOT disappoint!

Liz did my makeup at Arch Haus of Brows in Clovis, where she does several of her bridal makeup trials. I have followed AHOB on Instagram for a while- I am OBSESSED with the aesthetic and entire vibe of the building. If you guys live in the Fresno/ Clovis area you must check it out!

Below is an interview I sent Liz, just generally picking her brain about business, products, mistakes, and more!

Enjoy!

Q: What keeps you passionate about makeup after being in this business so long? What keeps you from getting burned out?

A: So many things keep me passionate about doing makeup. I have been a Freelance makeup artist for over 6 years now. I still feel so excited to pick up a makeup brush and work on a client. I love my job so much and the amount of support I receive from my family and close friends really keeps me going. I truly feel that the little beauty community I have created on Instagram is so genuine and I have people cheering me on every day. Having creative freedom and creating makeup looks that excite me also play a part in keeping me passionate. Every now and then I will organize a photoshoot with a concept in mind and bring my vision to life. Watching it all come together continues to fuel my passion for being a makeup artist.

Q: What are 3 of your all time favorite makeup products?

A. Three of my all-time favorite makeup products include:

1. Benefit Cosmetics Fool Proof Brow Powder for a natural, easy to do, every day, long-lasting brow.

2. KKW Lip Pencil in 1.5 (the most perfect nude ever)

3. Tarte Shape Tape Concealer (best coverage, I’m sure you’ve all heard about it)

Q: All time favorite skin care products? 

A: Three of my must have skin products include

1. Summer Fridays Jet Lag mask

2. Summer Fridays CC me Serum 

3. Shani Darden Hydrating toner/essence

Q: What is, in your opinion, a mistake that most people make when applying their makeup?

A: In my opinion, a mistake many make when applying their makeup is not cleaning their brushes/sponges at LEAST once a week. Using makeup brushes and sponges that haven’t been cleaned in months (or ever) really alters the way makeup is applied. This can also cause breakouts and makeup build up on the brushes can cause an uneven/blotchy application. I highly recommend taking your brushes to the sink and giving them a deep clean at least once a week or spot cleaning with a good brush cleaner that dries instantly so you can use a fresh brush right away!

Q: What is your favorite type of look to create?

A: My favorite type of look to create is a soft glam bronze look with a nude lip! This look is very universal for all skin types and really looks amazing on anyone!

Q: What made you decide to turn your passion into a career?

A: I decided to take the leap and quit my day job about a year ago. It was something I knew I had to eventually do as I got busier with my freelance makeup business. I knew that whenever I did make up for clients, that was when I truly felt the happiest. Making women feel confident and beautiful became my full-time job and there is not a day that goes by that I am not grateful for that. I feel like I found my purpose and it’s a great feeling.

Q: You're amazing at branding and running your business like a BOSS. Do you enjoy the business side of what you do?

A: Thank you!! I have enjoyed building my brand more than I could’ve ever imagined! I did not realize I was “building a brand” until it actually happened. The business side is my favorite, a little stressful, but rewarding to say the least. Working on my branding, creating a visually appealing aesthetic, the constant emails, building a website from scratch, creative photoshoots, the artistry, and so much more. I am a one woman show, I have my hands dipped in every aspect of the business and would not have it any other way, for now J .

Q: Can you share your favorite techniques for getting flawless skin?

A: Yes, it all starts with the skin and properly taking time to prep the skin accordingly! So, depending on the skin type that I am working with would determine the skin prep.  I also focus quite a bit of time on working the concealer and foundation into the skin. When you think you’re done blending them both in, keep blending. The longer you buff and blend them in, the more “skin-like” it will appear. I love applying the product with a brush first, then with a beauty blender for a flawless & long- lasting coverage.

There you have it! Follow Liz if you want your Instagram feed to be blessed.

Who should I interview next? 

lovelovelove,

Tanner

My Intermittent Fasting Cheat- Sheet

Hi friends!

I'm going to spell out for you how I do my own version of intermittent fasting and why it's been such a good way for me to maintain/lose weight. I read (listened to- thanks, Audible) a book about intermittent fasting a few months ago and it made perfect sense to me. It just clicked. 

I'll link the book, The Cruise Control Diet, HERE. Jorge Cruise, the author, was on The Skinny Confidential Podcast talking about how he's never been in better shape in his life. He's a personal trainer and has been for years. The podcast was so interesting that I decided to get the book and learn the facts.

Using what I took away from the book I'll break it down in a non- science way for you all. Here's a breakdown of a typical weekday:

Basically, we as human beings were not meant to eat continuously, all day, 7 days a week. Our ancestors had to hunt and gather for their food, which meant they were never guaranteed a scheduled meal like we are now. 

Our bodies are so smart and amazing that they are able to recognize that if we are eating in excess we should store some of that fat for the future. As far as our bodies are concerned, who knows when we'll get food again? Our bodies hold onto excess food as fat as a method for survival.

Not eating is a signal to our body to burn fat rather than hold onto it. 

This doesn't mean that you should starve yourself for days at a time, although I do know some people who are avid fasters and are able to do a two- day fast and find it beneficial. What I have been doing to maintain my weight loss following the Arbonne 30- Day Challenge has been this: pick an 8 hour window during your day in which you eat. 

I get off work late at night, and when I come home I like to eat dinner, have a snack and a glass of wine, so I usually choose 1:00pm- 9:00pm. I have NEVER been a breakfast person anyway, I just forced myself to eat it because it would "help my metabolism." After reading  The Cruise Control Diet I learned that eating from the time we wake up is not natural, and might actually be a ploy to get us to buy breakfast food.

If you are a breakfast person, by all means start early! This just means that you'll choose an earlier window, like 8:00am- 4:00pm. You can also adjust it to a 6 hour window to burn more fat if you're able to (I'm not), or a 10 hour window if you're really struggling with an 8 hour window. 

Here is my cheat to making it to 1:00pm every week day without eating: coffee with heavy cream, coconut oil, or grassfed butter. I'm NOT into the keto diet. My body just needs healthy carbs, sorry not sorry. I wish I could do it but I just feel my best when I'm eating fruits, veggies, healthy carbs, and a little bit of meat. But, I will say that using this fasting hack from the keto diet is SO beneficial. I don't think I could do it without this hack.

Basically, when you are fasting it means that your insulin levels are low. After a while, your body will burn fat. If your insulin levels rise, your body switches gears to process foods/ sugars rather than fat. Heavy cream, coconut oil, and grass fed butter do NOT raise your insulin levels, which tricks your body into thinking it is still fasting, but while keeping you full. BOOM.

To answer your question: no, you cannot add anything extra to your coffee. Yes, it can be hard. But, after a while you get used to it. I only do this during the week but it just keeps getting easier and I just keep getting less hungry. The first week was rough for me but now I don't even think about it. I also find I'm eating smaller portions. Some days it's harder than others, and if I can't make it to 1:00 I'll start eating at 12:00 and just stop eating at 8:00 instead of 9:00. I adjust. Even if I'm not eating super healthy this keeps my portions under control.

Another hack is to add pink Himalayan sea salt to your water. This adds electrolytes and minerals and keeps you full longer! This way the water doesn't just go straight through you.

Questions? As always you can message me on IG and I'll let you know what I think! 

Dean’s Birth Story

One year ago today Dean Alexander Mathewson was born. In honor of my baby turning one I thought I would do a special edition blog post telling his birth story. When I was pregnant I used to love reading other peoples birth stories, it’s so interesting to me how different everyone’s birth experiences are. 

It’s long, but if you’re interested here’s my detailed birth story. 

I can quite literally remember it like it was yesterday. My due date was October 14th, but my whole pregnancy I had a feeling (and hoped) that he would come early. I walked Nova a couple of miles almost every day during my pregnancy and I think that had a hand in him coming early. 

I went into labor at 5:30am on Monday, October 8th. Blake and I were asleep and my contractions started in so aggressively hat it woke me up. I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions all week but this was different. I decided to get my phone out after a little while to see if I could start timing them. Sure enough, they were coming about every 2-4 minutes, lasting 30-40 seconds each. 

I happened to have a doctor’s appointment scheduled that morning with my OBGYN so instead of going to the hospital I told Blake to go to work and called my mom and mother in law. I packed a hospital bag just in case and all three of us headed to my appointment. 

When we got there my midwife was busy so I saw her nurse’s assistant. When I told her how close together my contractions were she told me that I would most likely have him by that night, but when she checked me I was only 1cm dilated. She told me to walk as much as possible to speed things up. 

At this point walking was uncomfortable but doable, so I got breakfast with my mom and mother in law and then went for a walk with my mom and sister for a good hour. I remember on our walk around the park I had to stop and breath through the contractions- they were getting so intense. 

As soon as Blake got off work we called one of Blake’s brothers to stay at the house and watch Nova while we headed to the hospital. When we got there I was in so much pain but was feeling hopeful. The nurse in triage hooked me up to a monitor that showed my contractions, and kept making comments about how big my contractions were.

She checked me and looked up at me sadly- I was only dilated to 1cm. STILL. I lost it. "I AM NOT A ONE!" If you know me, you know I am not a confrontational person whatsoever, lol I was just in so much pain I couldn’t imagine going through this much longer without being admitted to the hospital. She proceeded to tell me that because this was my first baby that I could go through this for up to a week. A WEEK?! No. No way. I said "I can’t sleep. If you send me home I won’t sleep." It was already 9:30 at night! She called Rita, my OBGYN and Rita told her to give me a shot of morphine and send me home. 

Let me tell you, morphine is amazing. Lol I had blake take me to get In N Out and was able to sleep for about 3 hours before it wore off. By noon on Tuesday I couldn’t take it any more. I was begging Blake to take me back to the hospital and kept saying "I promise it’s different this time, I promise!" Sure enough, when they checked me again at the hospital I was a 3! Good enough to be admitted, thank God. 

As soon as we got to my room I asked for my epidural. I remember during the contractions I couldn’t even walk, I had to bend over and crouch down and just try to breathe. My nurse was an angel, she just kept rubbing my back and saying "You’re doing great mama!"

The anesthesiologist came in and asked everyone to leave the room. My nurse was there comforting me while he gave me the epidural. I will never forget that feeling of being in so much pain, so exhausted, and feeling another contraction start to build. Right as that new wave was coming he must have given me the epidural. The pain disappeared completely. It was magical. I asked him "Why doesn’t everyone do this?!" and cried tears of relief. I feel so lucky because I was able to feel my legs but feel no pain. 

Once I got the epidural we brought out the laptop and watched Friends! That was my birth plan: epidural and Friends. I had a "happy button" that I could push whenever I felt the epidural wearing off, that way I stayed nice and numb. 

They came in and broke my water after a little while, and the water was cloudy- he had pooped, which is called meconium. If babies inhale the meconium at all it can be extremely dangerous so they informed me that the NICU team would be there during the delivery to make sure everything was okay. 

Things still weren’t moving as quickly as Rita wanted, so they gave me pitocin to speed things up. As we got closer to the delivery my nurses noticed that I had a fever that kept getting higher and higher. Rita came in a little before 9:00 so that I can start pushing. This was when I totally fell in love with Rita- she fought for us during that delivery. I was shaking uncontrollably from the fever and adrenaline, and my new nurse that I got after the shift change was not on top of things or very friendly. Rita got onto her and demanded assistance from her in every way: it made me feel safe.

After 10 minutes or so of pushing we met our little man. Dean had a fever when he came out too but was otherwise perfectly healthy. He was 6lbs 8oz (thank you Lord) with dark hair and dark eyes. 

I was in complete shock. I was so exhausted and not at all expecting Rita to give him to me immediately, but she did. As soon as he was out she put him on my chest- and I almost dropped him lol I was so tired. He was crying SO loud, everyone kept laughing because he has such strong lungs. 

I will probably start crying as I write this, but this was the best moment of my entire life. I was exhausted after laboring for 40 hours, overwhelmed because he was crying so loud, and Blake walked over. I always read that the baby knows their fathers voice from the womb but I never truly bought into it. I have so many clients a day, how does he know Blake’s voice compared to everyone else’s? 

I was wrong. He said "Hey, buddy." And just like that, Dean got quiet. He grabbed Blake’s finger and stopped crying. He knew his Daddy. It was so beautiful. 

And I’m crying. 

I remember I started bawling and the nurse asked me "What’s wrong? What hurts?" And I couldn’t speak I was so happy. She said "Oh, you’re happy?" And I just nodded my head while crying silently. 

They stitched me up and I was good to go. 

This past year has been the hardest, best year of my entire life. 

Dean, if you ever read this you are Mama’s best friend. My life will never be the same. You are the most loving, beautiful, handsome, funny, smart boy. I am so blessed to have you as a son. 

My Experience With Botox & Filler

Hi guys!
Miss me?
I've been so busy lately, and lazy when I have spare time as a result. However, I'm eager to get back to sharing with you guys!

Okay, so this topic is something I've been dying to talk about, but wanted to wait until I had a little more experience with it before I did a blog post about it. It's kind of taboo, and has a lot of misconceptions behind it. It's something I debated talking about, but at the end of the day it's something I want to share regardless of what other people think.

As of last week, I'm happy to report that I have officially tried Botox. I am also happy to report that I am OBSESSED. I am a very expressive person and because of that I have started to develop lines across my forehead, and a permanent dent in between my eyebrows. Literally every picture I take, you can see a frown in my forehead. I've tried facial massage and jade rolling to help soften it. It has helped, but the frown is still there.

Before attacking my entire forehead with Botox, I decided to try just my scowl in between my brows. It was quick, easy, and after a full 7 days I am not only unable to frown when the sun hits my face but I am completely free of any indention. It also got rid of several of the lines in my forehead. We didn't even target those! I'm so happy.

Prior to last week, the only other thing I have had done to my face is add Juvéderm to my lips. I have always been pretty happy with my lips, I just wanted to give them a little something extra. After my wedding, and before I was pregnant with Dean I did a half syringe of filler (Juvéderm) to mainly my top lip. The remainder of the syringe was added to my bottom lip. This lasted me a full year, despite my RN telling me that it would only last 8 months or so! I got them done again about 3 months ago and I'm still in love.

I'm gonna be straight with you guys: lip filler f****n HURTS. It hurts bad. I'll be straight with you guys again: I will get lip filler to the day I DIE. I feel like Angelina Jolie. Not really, but I do feel like THAT BITCH. I also struggle with extremely dry lips typically, and Juvéderm completely gets rid of any dryness and cracks.
One negative symptom that I had was bruising on my lips the following week, but that is normal and clearls up quickly. Here is a before and after of the first time.

I wanted to be real with you guys about this stuff rather than try and keep it a secret for a few reasons, one of them being that I genuinely love to talk about things that make me feel good about myself. Another reason being that I cannot stand when I can clearly tell that someone's face has changed and yet they try to keep it a secret. You guys know that I am an open book.

I am so supportive of women (and men) doing whatever it takes to make them feel good about themselves. If you love Botox and filler all over your face, great. If you feel like you've earned every line and want to embrace it, you do you boo. Women are beautiful either way. I, personally, want to do Botox until my face looks like Bella Hadid's. But hey, that's me.

What are your experiences with Botox and filler? Is there something else I should try? My crow's feet are next on my hit list. Also, if you're local and want to know where I go for these services, just ask!

lovelovelove,
Tanner

General Life Update: September 2019

My people! 

I know if you're reading this then you truly are one of my people because this post isn't exactly invigorating. It's just a grab a glass of wine, and let's talk kind of read.

When I started this blog my intention was to offer something useful to my readers: whether that be giving you the styling knowledge to make you feel like you have new hair, sharing skincare knowledge to make you feel like you can slay at life, or just conversing with you all about my favorite health and wellness tips. I don't care what it is I'm writing about, as long as I can offer you guys something useful. 

Tonight's post might not necessarily be useful, but it will be therapeutic for me because it brings me back to doing something that fuels my soul... writing. 

So, instead of my usually curated, organized, tips and tricks blog post I'm just going to give you guys a general life update. Grab a glass of wine, and let's chat. 

If I'm being honest, this week- okay, this past MONTH has been a mess around here. By around here, I mean me. I am the mess. I am the type of person who thrives on following a schedule, a routine, and healthy habits. Even though I thrive following these things, I am naturally someone who craves the opposite of structure. If it were up to me I would run around like a chicken with it's head cut off- but that isn't how I thrive. I am my best self when I am organized and disciplined.

This month I have been neither organized or disciplined.

Normally, I would hide this from the world and punish myself mentally with endless negative self talk, but I just finished The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown. If you're like me and you find your worth in how much you accomplish on a daily basis, READ THIS BOOK. She breaks down the reasoning behind why we feel the need to be so perfect all of the time- and how it's impossible. SO, rather than beating myself over this past month I'm going to give myself grace and embrace it for what it is: rest. Is rest a crime? I think not. 

If you're not a reader, watch the Brené Brown special on Netflix. Like, now. Please !! All the way through. You'll laugh, and then you'll cry.

I have also been feeling super motivated in the business aspect of my life, which also brings in an insane amount of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of success. I was struggling with all of this internally and a friend of mine (hi, Kandice!) recommended Rachel Hollis's newest podcast What's Keeping You From Making a Million Dollars?

I wouldn't have listened to it normally because I don't exactly consider myself a "million dollar" candidate (working on that mindset change, k?) but I cried THREE TIMES during this podcast. It's for anyone, in my opinion. It taught my that I am absolutely, 100% deserving of the success that is coming for me. As someone who constantly talks down to myself for being less-than perfect, this was exactly what I needed to hear. 

This coming week my goal is to talk to myself with the same grace and gentleness that I would talk to my son if he were thinking the same way that I am. Would I ever say to him "You're so f'n awful I can't believe you ate that Taco Bell and only vacuumed today Dean, WTF?? When are you going to get your life together?" 

NO.

I would say, "Look how much you accomplished, bub! And so what if you ate Taco Bell? You wanted it! Eat something healthy for dinner. Don't be so hard on yourself!" 

What if we all talked to ourselves with that kind of compassion and love?

lovelovelove, 

Tanner

5 Hacks to Help You Get Ready Every Day

Hello, friends!

I failed to do a blog post last week due to some exciting/ fun projects, but I'm excited to be back at it this week! @tristin_the_esthetician has a kick ass feature about antioxidants and skincare at the end of this post, make sure to scroll to the end!

I've been listening to podcasts from Goal Digger by Jenna Kutcher ALL DAY, and they have really just been reminding me of the reason I began this blog in the first place: offering others useful information that I wish someone had told me. It's got me thinking about what people ask me about on a regular basis.

One question that I've been asked fairly regularly by other mamas is: "How do you find the time to get ready every day?" At first, the answer is pretty obvious and simple: I make the time. It's not a choice, it's a requirement. I am in a career that requires me to not look like a homeless piece of shit every day (which is what I look like on at least one of my days off every week.) But, when I really think about it, there is a method to this process of getting ready every day: I set myself up for success.

Getting ready (almost) every day makes me feel good. I don't know if it's my personality or something that was instilled in me by my mother, but I have a much higher chance of having a positive, fulfilling, productive day if I look and feel my best. I feel more confident and that alone is a reason to make the effort.

Below I share several hacks that I use on a daily and weekly basis to make getting ready every day easier. Implement some of these hacks into your next work week and (hopefully) it will make a difference.

HACK #1
Decide that getting ready is a priority

I know this seems obvious and self explanatory, but it is so important. If you don't understand why putting your face on, doing your hair, and putting together an outfit that you like every day is important then when the time comes for you to take the time to do all of this and you're not in the mood, you aren't going to do it. Visualize going through the motions of your day while looking/feeling your best vs. going through your day with no makeup, a ratty bun, and sweat pants. Which would you prefer? A work week or a week at home with the baby is hard enough, guys. Feeling confident makes it that much easier to get through. I even make better eating choices when I have my hair and makeup done- especially if I'm just at home! So, make the decision. Remember your reasons.

HACK #2
Choose one day for maximum effort

When I say I get ready every day, I absolutely do not mean that I wash, blow dry, and curl my hair every day. Ain't NOBODY got time for that if you have thick hair like me. However, I do choose one day at the beginning of the week to do those things. Usually on Sunday or Monday night I will do the whole shebang- wash, deep condition, leave- in spray, oil, blow dry, and curl. On this day I curl with a smaller curling iron- the smaller the barrel, the longer the curls will last. Sometimes I'm too tired at night after the washing and conditioning and I fall asleep with wet hair. If that happens, I curl with the small iron in the morning, but like I said: this is non-negotiable. Instead of using Dean's first nap to take my time on my makeup or clean, I curl my hair. Why? Because I know that this will benefit me the rest of the week.

HACK #3
Give yourself enough time

This is where I loose people. On a normal work day I wake up at 4:45 in the morning. I know it sounds extreme, but it's what I HAVE to do if I want to work out, shower, make my boys breakfast, and get ready. My coworker's mom said it best (hi, Kaitlynd! Your mom's a genius lol) "You're ahead of everyone all day instead of chasing them." On the days that I don't get up earlier than everyone that's EXACTLY what it feels like- chasing. Being one step ahead is a game changer. I'm not saying you have to wake up at 4:45, but even getting up 20 minutes earlier than your usual will give you some extra time that will be such a huge beneficial change to your morning.

HACK #4
Master your makeup priorities

If I have taken too much time on my hair, taken too much time cleaning up the kitchen, or too much time choosing an outfit, I know exactly what I can to do to my face in 5 minutes to still look like I actually took my time getting ready. We all have our strong areas and our weak areas. Some areas need more enhancing than others. When I'm in a hurry I apply my priorities: foundation, brows, mascara, and bronzer- in that order. If I run out of time for bronzer? Oh, well. I apply what I care about most. Master your 5 min makeup routine! And always apply lipstick in the car at a stop light when you're in a pinch. Two birds, one stone.

HACK #5
Distract with accessories

This. Is. Everything.
You know what genuinely irritates me? On the days when I use my get-ready hacks I get the most compliments! Lol, I know that sounds ridiculous but it's true. Let me paint a picture. It's usually a Friday morning, I'm running SO LATE, so I throw on a maxi dress. Dresses are easy, they don't require putting anything together like a shirt and pants would. They also don't require me to shave my legs because my legs are hidden. I throw on a trendy hat because I haven't had time to brush my 3 day old curls, let alone wash them. I apply my five minute makeup, down my 3rd cup of coffee and I'm out the door. COMPLIMENTS GALORE, PEOPLE! I know this isn't a problem, but still lol. The trendy hat combined with the maxi dress makes it look like I put in so much effort, when that couldn't be further than the truth. Find a cute hat, scarf, or headband and make it your dirty hair BFF.

Any questions? Ask away, my friends!

lovelovelove,
Tanner

Antioxidants 

Hi again friends, today we’re going to cover antioxidants and why you should be OBSESSED with them. Antioxidants protect against free radicals, they help to limit their production, which saves your skin from some damage. Your skin benefits in so many ways from antioxidants, so here we go; are you ready? Get a pen.

Anti inflammation- increases circulation & cell metabolism, which promotes more even skin tone and helps keep wrinkles and acne stay as far away as possible. 

Firms your skin- bring on that collagen and elastin, am I right?? 

Reduces the look of wrinkles- antioxidants help plump up your skin so you have a more youthful appearance.

Scar treatment- antioxidants can help reduce the appearance of scars by increasing blood flow to the scar tissue, which makes it less rigid and helps it blend in. 

Repair Sun Damage- I know I always preach about sun damage but literally IT’S SO IMPORTANT TO PROTECT YOUR SKIN! Antioxidants encourage new cell growth, which again (drum roll please) helps you look younger.

Here are a bunch of products that contain antioxidants you can incorporate into your every day routine: 

Vitamin C- L'Oreal Paris Vitamin C Serum

Vitamin E- Health Priority Vitamin E Oil

Vitamin A- Dermalogica Multivitamin Power Firm

Resveratrol (the one that’s found in red wine)- The Ordinary Resveratrol

CoEnzyme Q-10- DHC Eye Cream

Retinol- Neutrogena Rapid Wrinkle Repair Serum

Antioxidant Suncreen- Replenix Antioxidant Sunscreen Moisturizer

Hope you guys are finding this helpful. Your skin is going to thank you when you’re 60 and still lookin hot as hell, thank you for reading!! 

How to Use Dry Shampoo- CORRECTLY

Happy Self Care Sunday, friends!

Stay tuned for Tristin's skincare feature at the end of today's post! All about a nighttime routine.

Today's blog post is for all of my gals who loathe a daily shampoo with the same intensity that I do. Dry shampoo has become my best friend over the past few years, and yet I still hear a lot of my clients complain about it not working for them. The following steps are essential for getting the most out of your dry shampoo.

Why should you use dry shampoo, you ask? 

Washing your hair daily dries out your scalp and hair. If you train your scalp to go without washing, it will adjust and be less oily day to day. When you are constantly washing your hair it is trying to overcompensate for the dryness and lack of moisture, hence the oily scalp. Dry shampoo is a great way to help you with that transition.

It's also a great way to referesh your style, even if it's not oily. It can add volume, body, and texture to super soft, fine hair. 

STEP 1: Find a great dry shampoo

A HUGE problem can be the quality of your dry shampoo. Anything that is super low quality will leave a white residue no matter what precautions/steps that you take. This No Nothing Dry Shampoo

is all natural and works great. Some of my other favorites are:

- Oh Bee Hive! by Bed Head. My OG Favorite dry shampoo. Of all time. And it's on sale right now!!!

- Not Your Mother's Dry Shampoo

STEP 2: Make sure you're sectioning your hair

Section along your part line and spray the dry shampoo from underneath the section. 

If your hair is extra dirty or in need of volume around the face, spray the section around your face.

STEP 3: Let it sit

This is possibly the most important step!! Let. It. Sit. The dry shampoo needs time to absorb your oils. The more oily your hair is, the longer you should let it sit. Go get a drink of water. Start doing your makeup. Go make a cup of coffee. LET IT SIT

STEP 4: Rough it up

Don't be afraid to get up in there and rough up your root. This is what is going to get rid of that white residue! Take your fingers, massage your scalp, and move your root around! If that still isn't enough, go in with your brush and brush out your root.

Done! Go about your day enjoying your dirty little secret.

Skincare Feature of the Week: Beauty Sleep

@tristin_the_esthetician

There is a reason Sleeping Beauty was so stunning. She slept.. A LOT. She really knew what she was doing, way ahead of her time. 

Beauty sleep is actually not just a myth, it’s REAL. While we sleep our skin repairs itself from all the damage that occurred during the day from UV exposure, pollution, and those free radicals( remember those are the lil guys that terrorize our skin every single day )

When we’re sleeping our skin’s blood flow increases and our skin tries to repair collagen. Which, reduces wrinkles and age spots! Yes, please. Our bodies need at least seven to nine hours of sleep each night.

Research has shown that even after one night (that’s right one freakin night) of poor sleep our skin can show these signs: 

-hanging eyelids

-swollen eyes

-extra wrinkles

-under eye circles

-paler skin

-droopiness

If all that can start after just one evening of poor sleep, imagine what a life time of minimal sleep can do to your skin? It’s so important to let our bodies rest. It is equally as important not to forget your nightly routine!

NOTHING, I repeat, NOTHING makes me cringe more than when I hear people say “oh I slept with my make up on, whoops” or “I’m just too tired at night I can’t do my routine”

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN GET IT TOGETHER 

Your body is your only body; TAKE SUCH GOOD CARE OF IT AND LOVE IT PLEASE I’M BEGGING YOU! 

By skipping your night time routine you are causing real damage to your skin. Large pores, dryness, rashes, inflammation (aka you’re gunna be lookin swollen af), wrinkles (by letting that make up sit on top of your skin your skin isn’t breathing), break outs, and even infection! Your skin is the largest organ in your whole body: RESPECT IT; if you don’t you’re going to end up looking like the wrinkled leathery old lady you see in line in the grocery store that you literally cannot take your eyes off BECAUSE ITS SO HORRIBLE. Wow, okay I got a little dark, I’m sorry. I’m a Scorpio, I got a lot of emotion. 

The position in which you sleep actually effects how your skin ages too! Wild. Sleeping on your side and your stomach can actually cause more wrinkles on your face and chest. Sleeping on your back with your head slightly elevated is the prime sleeping position! Keeping your head elevated can help with under eye circles and bags because it improves your blood flow. 

Also, a cotton pillow case can be irritating to your skin. Switch to a silk or satin pillow case! Very soft, and won’t let your products soak in like that cotton pillowcase does. 

KEY INGREDIENTS TO LOOK FOR IN YOUR NIGHTLY ROUTINE:

-Hyaluronic acid
Linked here

We have this naturally in our skin but much like everything else it decreases as we get older and are exposed to the sun and pollution. Also, smoking is absolutely horrible for your skin. Please quit now before you look twice your age and little kids point out your wrinkles. Boom roasted. Hyaluronic acid retains water, so it helps keep your skin moisturized while reducing the look of fine lines and redness

-Rose hip oil
Linked here

Rose hip oil is derived from Rosa Canina bushes. It’s loaded with vitamins, fatty acids, and phenols-which have anti viral, antibacterial and anti-fungal properties. Brightens & hydrates. It’s also a good carrier oil to mix with your essential oils if you’re into those!

-Vitamin C
Linked here

Brightens and heals the skin, you can use in the morning or at night or both. If you’re using a very high percentage of vitamin C limit to once a day. It makes the strongest impact on your skin while you’re sleeping!

Thank you guys for reading again! I love spittin this skincare knowledge :)